25 Oct
Rest in Peace, Joe Kudabeck
Friday was weird. Leigh thought maybe the whole day was some collective dream, but I knew it wasn’t. I made breakfast for everyone in the morning, and after that, things just kept getting worse.
I’d just walked back from the hardware store, where I had to buy a battery charger because the van battery died (our fault.) I’d carefully hooked it up and was headed inside when Joe’s fiancée walked up to the porch. I didn’t recognize her at first, and then she told me he’d died.
We both kind of stood there, and said a few things about arrangements and getting information about Joe’s responsibilities at the milk co-op. I thought about giving her a hug but it was just weird and our feet were just sort of stuck. We kind of apologized for it being odd, and she left.
Joe Kudabeck
I didn’t know Joe that well. We met him when he joined the cooperative group that buys from the Amish in Arthur every week and then meets at our house for pickup. From time to time we’d talk about nothing in particular.
At first I thought Joe was a bit odd, but I always thought him friendly. He was open and honest in a refreshing way. We were talking about my 2008 summer projects list one day. I made some wisecrack that “I’d probably never get all that done, I was probably kidding myself.” I said it more because I expected that was what he was thinking, more than anything else. Rather, he said “Not with that attitude, you won’t.”
From that point on, I wanted to get to know Joe better. It was one of those things I thought about, but never acted upon. He talked with Leigh about us having some hoe-downs at our house on Saturdays for the coop, and she told him I’d had the same idea. The idea got kicked around a bit, but never seemed to bubble to the top of the list.
Joe finally decided to run with the ball and declared on the milk emailing list that we would be “tailgating at Leigh’s” on November 8th, which was the next day he would be responsible for the pickup run to the Amish. Leigh pledged to provide hot chocolate, and I think it would have shaped up nicely.
It’s too bad Joe won’t be here on November 8.
It’s too bad we’ll never start having weekly get-togethers with Joe here.
Joe was a roofer, and one day we got to talking about how I could extend my front porch out, and what the best roofing option would be. I remember that day how excited Joe was to be working on a fancy copper chimney in Urbana the next day. He admitted that roofing was a lot of the same old thing, but relished the highlights. Apparently installing this copper chimney was a chance to really use some skill and finish something to be truly proud of.
I liked his attitude.
I won’t lose a lot of sleep because of Joe’s passing. I can’t pretend we were somehow near and dear. I’ve come away realizing, though, that if you really want to start spending more time with people, the time to do that is now, right away. I’ve been thinking about the times Joe and I did chat a bit, and I’m certain I missed out on a lot by not making the time to know him beyond one Saturday a week.
Joe, I’ll try not to make that mistake with anyone else.
The following is the obituary as seen in the Chicago Suburbs “Daily Herald.”
Joseph Gordon Kudabeck formerly of St. Charles The visitation for Joseph Gordon Kudabeck, 30, of Urbana, Ill., will be from 1 p.m. until the time of funeral service at 5 p.m. Sunday, at Yurs Funeral Home, 405 E. Main St. (corner of Route 64 and Route 25), St. Charles. Interment will be private. Born Oct. 5, 1978, in Geneva, to Gordon and Deborah (nee Beal) Kudabeck, he passed away Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2008, at Carle Foundation Hospital in Urbana. He was attending the University of Illinois and was in the college of Civil Engineering. Survivors include his parents; three brothers, Jason (Heather) of Sycamore, Jake (Laura) of Batavia and James (Erica) of Cortland; a sister, Christina (Gabriele) Antongiovanni of Puyallup, Wash.; his fiancee, Rhonda Jurinak of Urbana; maternal grandparents, Richard and Marcia Beal of Desert Hot Springs, Calif.; his nieces and nephews, Riley Kudabeck, Savannah Kudabeck, Ollie Kudabeck, and Luca and Filippo Antongiovanni; and numerous uncles, aunts and cousins. He was preceded in death by his paternal grandparents, Stephen and Violet Kudabeck. For information, 630-584-0060.
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